I’m A Millennial, I Snowboard, And You Should Too

My cousin Nunez is an aspiring snowboard model and author. He will occasionally be guest posting on the site. His first post is below. 

When I’m not on the slopes tearing up the trails, I’m in the lodge talking to women about puppies and being a vegan.

I haven’t eaten a slab of corporate America beef since I was seven. It was 1999, and my father treated me to a McDouble after a long day of shredding powd in the Catskills.

Father purchased me my first board when I was three — the rest is history. I fell in love with snowboarding instantly. Perhaps it was the existential sense of peace while at the top of a mountain, or the humanizing humility I felt as I lay face-first in the snow after careening into a tree. Either way, there was something special about being on the mountain; a certain vulnerability in the snow-covered peaks of mother earth I’ve failed to feel elsewhere.

My favorite peaks are all of them, to be honest. There isn’t a mountain I’ve shredded that hasn’t made me feel like a God incarnate: dominating the skyline with my padded black pants, name-brand board and a jacket providing enough warmth to melt a volcano. I wish all of my friends and family could experience the gift of life, the gift of snowboarding. It’s not really that expensive of a hobby. A good board is only a few hundred dollars — and proper clothing will run you just under $1,000.

I’ve never had an alcohol or done drug, so I’ve been able to save enough money to purchase quality snow boarding equipment. Of course, father has purchased a good deal of my equipment, but the point remains: I have never done drug.

I’m blessed to be able to say that I snowboard. By saying this I hope you acknowledge my sincerity and desire to make the world a better place. When I’m snowboarding all my stresses go away. I no longer worry about what I’m going to eat for dinner, or politics (pretending to understand and relate to the oppressions of others is stressful!)

Just hanging out in a casual boarding outfit. Thank goodness I'm attractive, or else my incoherent ramblings of words would go unnoticed.
Just hanging out in a casual boarding outfit. Thank goodness I’m attractive, or else my incoherent ramblings of words would go unnoticed.

In conclusion, life is like a cloud. It’s full-circle and filled with an unleashed potential the likes of which we haven’t seen in previous generations. I’m just one man, but by writing about myself I imagine there will be a great deal of social change in the days to come. I am the quiet deity. The wizard of peace and prosperity who inhabits the unforgiving shadows of mankind.

Without me, and my words that provoke the inner mechanisms of the human mind, there would be no hope. No chance at a monumental change.

I am Nunez.

But more important, I am God.


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